New Year's Eve, sitting in South Korea waiting on Jenny to get ready to go to Seoul to shop, tour and celebrate. Hopefully, tonight will be a good night, it's my next to last night here and I don't want to leave. But it's back to Malawi on Wednesday. It's been an incredible year and I couldn't be more thankful for the blessings and favor that God has given me. It's odd, working at a christian hospital in Africa, hosting a small group bible study and reading through John with a friend, it seems as though my faith would be strengthening. But I've found it's harder to spend alone time in reflection and prayer. I want to do anything but that and it's been a real struggle. When I titled this blog, I was a fairly new christian and really didn't know the sin and temptation that would be thrown my way this last year. It's come from all angles and it's a serious force. Even things that seem small and trivial pull me away from praise, worship and prayer. It's not the big, blatant temptations that get me down, it's the small stuff. Stuff that seems innocent.
When I look at the title of this blog, it has more meaning than it ever did. The fight has been won and we are victors in Christ. But our lives will always be a battlefield, because sin floods our lives and causes us to lose sight of the cross. God pulls us back in, regardless of how long we've been away. I feel like I've been away the last couple months. Just focusing on the moment, not living outside of it. But as a christian, I can't shake conviction and can't shake the anxiety and stress caused by sin. I can't simply get by without God. He is a faithful pursuer and I would be lost without him. So today I look ahead and want to be close to him again. Looking at my life from the outside, it may seem like I have it together. And that's probably the case for lots of christians. We worry about the thoughts of fellow christians and disregard the approval of the one that matters. But I'm not going to dwell on the last couple of months, God loves me no less for it. He is always waiting. He is always loving.
I thank God for the work in progress that I am, I thank him for his infinite love and wisdom. I thank him for his perfect plan. I thank him for forgiveness and peace. I thank him for meaning and purpose. I thank him for selfless love and compassion. I thank him for the people in this world and the relationships that I cherish. I thank him for pulling me back when I've been away. I thank him for encouragement through song, scripture, books and advice from others. I thank him for being so involved with my life. I thank him for a new year. I thank him for his Kingdom, all over the world. I thank him for opening my eyes. I thank him for giving me hope and faith. I thank him for the CROSS.
