Happy Thanksgiving!

The Lonesome Crowded West....

Traveling home is such a strange experience.  It feels like you're traveling to another planet.  Walking through JFK, seeing a sports bar broadcasting every afternoon NFL game on a wall of TVs feels weird.  A sea of white people.  Thoughts fill my head but there's more confusion than anything.  I remember this place but it's faster.  It's more intense.  The smells.  The noises.  A small dose of anxiety bubbles up inside.

Fast forward 3 weeks.  I'm headed back to Uganda and in need of face wash.  Riding a dirtbike on dusty roads requires a serious wash at night.  I neglected the opportunity to pick some up for 3 solid weeks at home.  I'm close to my boarding time when I pass through security in Charlotte.  I decide that I will wait until Doha (Qatar/Middle East) to pick some up.  I have 3 flights - Charlotte>Philadelphia>Qatar>Uganda.  I know that Qatar is my last chance to pick up something decent.  I know once I touch down in Uganda, everything changes.  At that point, I have left behind the resources, opportunities and possibilities of convenience.  But that's what I know.  Having one or two options simplifies the mess that is life.  Having NO options alleviates frustration, stress and anxiety - things I know too well.

When you've lived in Africa for a bit, your perspective really gets turned on it's head.  You start to realize that simple and basic doesn't mean boring and deprived.  You realize that one or two options is perfectly ok.  You appreciate every little thing.  I heard the term reverse culture shock when I first moved to Malawi in 2012.  But I didn't really think it could be real.  To me, you never forget a place that is home.  NO matter how many years you're away, it's impossible for a place to become unfamiliar and strange.  Impossible.  Or so I thought.  

You don't forget what places look like.  You don't forget how big and spacious offices, houses and stores are at home.  You don't forget about the variety of vehicles on the road.  You don't forget how great it is to ride on smooth roads, void of potholes/cattle/people.  

What does become unfamiliar are the emotions of a place.  The vibes of a city.  The feel of a small town.  The pace of life.  Being tethered to a phone.  Running into people you know unexpectedly.  Hearing news or stories about friends or family regularly.  Having so many options of restaurants that the choice is too much.  Being able to call people when you want.  Being able to check email or facebook whenever you want.  Being able to do laundry in a day.  Going into a store and forgetting why you came because of distractions.  The flow of news and current events everywhere you turn.  The conversations around you.  Knowing what people are saying in an elevator or in a shop.  Things that you would never think affect you, now do.  

What's the point?  Why am I rambling like a crazy guy at the end of the bar?  A couple things hit me as I boarded the plane and prepared to fly back over the Atlantic.  I'm returning to a place that used to be strange from a place that is now strange.   In February, I will go home to Lancaster SC with no return ticket.  For the first time since I moved in 2012, I am ready for something else.  But the last two years have drawn me closer to Jesus and ministry.  The next step probably won't be easy, it may be lots of struggle, but it will be worth it. 

Next stop?  Japan? Atlanta?  Florence, SC?  I don't know but I'm ok with that.  

The road home....

Waiting on a 2pm ride to the airport at a small motel just down the road from the Entebbe airport.  I'm anxious, ready to get home and see friends & family.  But it's only for a short time and I'll be passing this motel again in 3 short weeks heading back to my home in Uganda.  I love going home.  But I also love living here.  My dad recently asked me what I have against living in South Carolina and why would I consider not moving back in January when my current contract expires.  I have absolutely nothing against home.  I have absolutely nothing against Lancaster.  If anything, I appreciate small town life more than I ever did in my entire life.  I understand why people move away from a place for a few years or even a few months, only to return.  I get it.  My heart will always be in South Carolina but I also have a heart for things outside of it.  For the first time in over 2 years, I am thinking about life again in the U.S.  For the first time in a very long time, I am trying to imagine fitting back into life in a place that is familiar but not the place that I used to know.

I admire people that let their hearts lead them.  I admire missionaries that pack up their families and move to places that are detached from anything that resembles the american life.  I admire people that are open to new possibilities and don't rule things out because they fly outside of their comfort zone.  I admire people that step out and take the risk.  It doesn't have to be Africa or even overseas.  Everyone has a different path and some paths are closer to home.  I admire many people back home that are doing things that seem riskier to me than packing up my things and moving to East Africa.

Timing really is everything.  I wasn't ready to leave SC or the U.S. in my 20's.  I would have never appreciated the things that I cherish now.  I don't think I could have dealt with the frustrations and uncomfortable situations in a healthy manner.  I don't think I could have jumped into relationships and spent time with people that are so different from myself.  I don't think it would have worked.  But a few years later, I was prepared.  I was ready.  

I've recently spent lots of time listening to the podcast, This American Life.  I can't get enough and the incredible wi-fi speeds in Uganda often leave me waiting for the next episode to download.  I love stories and the way life is full of twists and turns.  The way that we affect others around us.  The way relationships make up our entire existence.  Everyone has a story.  The little village that my plane will ascend over in a couple hours is full of simple life.  There is no wi-fi.  There isn't electricity.  There may be a TV within a couple kilometers but it's probably tuned to football (soccer) most of the time power is available.  However, in this small remote village, there are stories.  There are relationships.  There is conversation about struggle, hope, God, marriage, finances and children.  It's a simpler life but no less important.  The village life is often filled with happiness and contentment.  Probably much more than many western lives.

I hiked Mt. Wanale a couple weeks ago.  It was a small group made up of my housemates and a couple CURE staffers.  A mix of ex-pats and Ugandans.  It was a fantastic outing and I was glad to finally stand at the top of the mountain that serves as Mbale's backdrop.  It's not a massive climb (less than 2,000 feet) but a beautiful view at the top.  The one thing that I will always remember about this climb is a comment that Moses (CURE co-worker) made during our hike up to the peak.  As we were taking a water break, he said "Life is happening here."  In fact, he said it multiple times during the trip.  I laughed at first.  I thought it was a just a comment to break up the silence among the tired group as we chugged water and caught our breath.  But then it hit me later that day.  He's right.  And although it didn't seem deep when I first heard it, it impacted me than anything else that day.  Life really is happening there.  We passed houses and villagers digging as we followed a narrow dirt path weaving through banana plants and small clusters of houses.  For those villagers, life on the side or top of Mt. Wanale, is more than we see on the exterior.  Life is similar - full of ups and downs, births, deaths struggle, celebration.  Just as important as our lives.  Just as meaningful and unpredictable.  

I recently aquired a sticker from the charity organization, Sevenly.  I pasted it on my laptop because I love it.  It reads "People Matter."  It's simple but perfect for the way I feel about these people that I've had the extraordinary privilege to share life with over the last couple of years.  Next time someone tells you that they are planning on "serving" or "helping" in some poor, developing country.  Do me a favor.  Tell them to have fun learning and gaining more than they could ever imagine.  Because that's what happens.  You can tell them they're awesome because you think they're being sacrificial if you really feel that way, but it's not what you think if you've never been there.  It's a privilege & a priceless opportunity.  It's heartbreaking and breathtaking at the same moment.  It's growth and change.

"Life is happening here."  And at home.  I'm thankful for my friends and family that have stuck with me.  I'm not the best communicator at times but realize the importance of a simple text or message.  I realize the impact that we have on the people around us.  Wherever we happen to be.

I did it, I actually wrote something....

Here's an update with words.  All I really want to do is upload a few pics and call it a day.  But I know that I'm being lazy and not pushing through it.  Some days I feel like heading straight to Entebbe and boarding a flight (most recently - yesterday).  Other days (most days) I can't see myself leaving at the end of my current contract in late January.  It's a weird place.  One year contracts allow you to grow roots in a place, but it doesn't allow you to fully become a citizen.  Plans are still short-term and relationships don't quite mature before you're looking at the calendar again.  But I'm fortunate.  A volunteer passing through Uganda for two weeks remarked that he would love to stay longer to really feel Uganda.  People that barely know me say these things that stick with me.  They say things that I contemplate long after they're gone.  The guest house fills and empties, people come and go.  I measure time by a volunteer's stay - noticing that it's been 2 weeks or two months since this random person showed up and is now preparing to leave to go back home.  That's the only time that I really think about it.   

The CUREkids work at the hospital is smooth.  An intern has been helping us out for the last two months and I've had time to finish other things because of his hard work.  He finishes his internship in 2 weeks and it will be back to a 2 man team again.  My colleague and translator, Edwin, is doing really well.  The CUREkids job has it's challenges - we often have trouble when children miss follow-up appointments.  It's tough tracking children down with unreliable cell numbers.  But we do the best we can which translates to genuinely caring about the kids and the moms.  The storytelling & photography part of the job is extremely important but being here for our patients/guardians trumps everything.  

Since I've been in the country, I've gotten sick twice.  The last bout was malaria and it was awful.  I missed 2 days at the hospital and felt sluggish and weak for another 3 or 4 days.  I've started running again - short runs - 3 or 4 miles on the weekend.  I've continued with Insanity and try to make it to the house gym about 3 times weekly. 

A friend of mine asked why I don't settle here and marry a Ugandan.  He told me to pick one and go with it.  I told him that I'm not opposed to dating Ugandans (truthfully) but the cultural differences would be a major obstacle.  And I don't just think that exclusively about Africans, I think it's true for a number of cultures that involve deep traditions and major cultural differences.      

I miss chicken wings and raw fries.  I've been told that I'm a horrible communicator twice in the last week, I know that I can be better.  Seasons are measured by growth and change here.  The weather doesn't vary.  I'm constantly tired here.  I have developed a serious love for Indian dishes.  I still struggle to do things with other people, sometimes it's a challenge to not be alone.  I think about what it would be like to meet Jesus in the street.  What would he say to me?  I hope that he would tell me that I'm doing lots of things wrong but I've got one thing right.  Loving him and loving other people because of him.           


Listening:
Mimicking Birds - Eons
Dustin Kensrue - The Water & The Blood
Everytime I Die - From Parts Unknown
Weatherbox - Flies in All Directions
Braille - Native Lungs
Jay-Z - Reasonable Doubt
Margot & The Nuclear So and So's - Slingshot to Heaven

Reading:
The Meaning of Marriage - Tim Keller

Watching:
The Newsroom season 2
Mad Men season 1

    

Outreach CURE clinic in Kampala...