The Lonesome Crowded West....

Traveling home is such a strange experience.  It feels like you're traveling to another planet.  Walking through JFK, seeing a sports bar broadcasting every afternoon NFL game on a wall of TVs feels weird.  A sea of white people.  Thoughts fill my head but there's more confusion than anything.  I remember this place but it's faster.  It's more intense.  The smells.  The noises.  A small dose of anxiety bubbles up inside.

Fast forward 3 weeks.  I'm headed back to Uganda and in need of face wash.  Riding a dirtbike on dusty roads requires a serious wash at night.  I neglected the opportunity to pick some up for 3 solid weeks at home.  I'm close to my boarding time when I pass through security in Charlotte.  I decide that I will wait until Doha (Qatar/Middle East) to pick some up.  I have 3 flights - Charlotte>Philadelphia>Qatar>Uganda.  I know that Qatar is my last chance to pick up something decent.  I know once I touch down in Uganda, everything changes.  At that point, I have left behind the resources, opportunities and possibilities of convenience.  But that's what I know.  Having one or two options simplifies the mess that is life.  Having NO options alleviates frustration, stress and anxiety - things I know too well.

When you've lived in Africa for a bit, your perspective really gets turned on it's head.  You start to realize that simple and basic doesn't mean boring and deprived.  You realize that one or two options is perfectly ok.  You appreciate every little thing.  I heard the term reverse culture shock when I first moved to Malawi in 2012.  But I didn't really think it could be real.  To me, you never forget a place that is home.  NO matter how many years you're away, it's impossible for a place to become unfamiliar and strange.  Impossible.  Or so I thought.  

You don't forget what places look like.  You don't forget how big and spacious offices, houses and stores are at home.  You don't forget about the variety of vehicles on the road.  You don't forget how great it is to ride on smooth roads, void of potholes/cattle/people.  

What does become unfamiliar are the emotions of a place.  The vibes of a city.  The feel of a small town.  The pace of life.  Being tethered to a phone.  Running into people you know unexpectedly.  Hearing news or stories about friends or family regularly.  Having so many options of restaurants that the choice is too much.  Being able to call people when you want.  Being able to check email or facebook whenever you want.  Being able to do laundry in a day.  Going into a store and forgetting why you came because of distractions.  The flow of news and current events everywhere you turn.  The conversations around you.  Knowing what people are saying in an elevator or in a shop.  Things that you would never think affect you, now do.  

What's the point?  Why am I rambling like a crazy guy at the end of the bar?  A couple things hit me as I boarded the plane and prepared to fly back over the Atlantic.  I'm returning to a place that used to be strange from a place that is now strange.   In February, I will go home to Lancaster SC with no return ticket.  For the first time since I moved in 2012, I am ready for something else.  But the last two years have drawn me closer to Jesus and ministry.  The next step probably won't be easy, it may be lots of struggle, but it will be worth it. 

Next stop?  Japan? Atlanta?  Florence, SC?  I don't know but I'm ok with that.