Thanks 2011, now get your coat and leave.....someone told me you spilled something and wiped it up with a clean towel, like I wouldn't notice

What an amazing year.  I had no expectations for 2011 really - more of the same.  Only real change I expected was in the relationship department.  I was seeing someone that I was forcing myself to like,  Sad situation in itself, but it truly showed my state of being and the way I valued being with someone.  That relationship was a straw house sitting in tornado alley - it was seriously a matter of time.  But I wasn't over someone else either, a relationship which may actually be a better analogy for a natural disaster. 

But it was a year of change.  and more change.

I stopped drinking January 1 2011.  Last time I have actually consumed an entire alcoholic beverage.  Never intended to stop cold turkey but that's what happened.  I wasn't sure at first, but a weekend went by then a month, then some more months.  I didn't know how much I valued drinking for enjoyment until I stepped back.  I had several friends that asked me for updates when they heard I quit but no one pressured me to stop.  At the same time, no one was pressuring me to drink either.  I think God truly laid it on my heart to stop the ridiculousness in order to deal with other things.    

I believe I experienced true joy for one of the first times in adult life.  Not happiness or satisfaction, but genuine lasting joy.  I felt content.  I felt relieved.  I felt ok.  For the first time in years, I wasn't searching for something else - something that I didn't possess.  

I still have a long way to go in the relationship department, including friendships.  I'm stubborn and selfish.  I have a tendency to shut people out.  I am getting better and I am capable.  I pray daily about my stupid ways, it's a deeper problem that I ever imagined.

God continues to tweak my heart, but it has issues to the core.   I didn't know just how dark it was/is until I let a little light in.  

In Corinthians, the apostle Paul writes that anyone in Christ is a new creation and the old has passed away.  God is good. 

End of The Year List

My top albums from 2011 - I don't listen to a lot of new or current music, so my list isn't very long.  One and two are in order, the rest are alphabetical and no order of preference.


1. J. Mascis - Several Shades of Why - Listened to this one over throughout the year, it came out early in March.  Everything that J. Mascis does is good to my ears.  Actually, anything J or Lou Barlow touches has tremendous staying power.  I will be listening to this album in 5 years, not confident to say that about the rest of my list.  


2. Explosions in the Sky - Take Care, Take Care, Take Care - this album was a surprise.  I love Explosions but their are other albums would not rank this high in an end of the year list.  For their other albums, I have gradually grown to love each of them.  I loved this album instantly.  Not sure what that means for lasting playability but for now, I'm wearing this record out.


Appleseed Cast - Middle States.  It's Appleseed Cast, probably one of my favorite bands of all time.  It's short, but the final track is 14 minutes + and it runs the gamut of emotions, up and down.  


All Get Out - The Season.  This album hit me hard.   I loved it before it came out.  I heard most of the songs multiple times LIVE and couldn't wait to blast them in a vehicle.  This record made up for the lack of playability that Manchester delivered with Simple Math.


Arrange - Plantation.  "Tiny Little Boy" may have been my most played song of the year.  
Bon Iver - Bon Iver
Defeater - Empty Days and Sleepless Nights


La Dispute - Wildlife.  "King Park" is my favorite song, it blew me away the first time I heard it.  And every time after that.


Rural Alberta Advantage - Departing.  Singer's voice is nasally but I got into this band off a recommendation from some website.  Glad I did - another one of their albums, Hometowns is great too.


Twilight Singers - Dynamite Steps.  Another phenomenal album from Greg Dulli - formerly of Afghan Whigs.  His albums also have lots of staying power with me.


Wilco - The Whole Love.  It's Wilco and I love Wilco.  They can do no wrong in my book, this album was played in it's entirety daily since it came out.


We were promised jetpacks - in the pit of the stomach


Yuck - Yuck.  This is an album my older sister will probably love.  If you miss 90's rock, this is a good album to take you back.  Raw, dated sound, androgynous voices with a good mix of loud/soft tracks.


enjoyed but not at top of my playlist
Manchester Orchestra - Simple Math (sorry, still love the band but I need something different from them)
M83 - Hurry Up, We're Dreaming
Mogwai - Hardcore will never die but you will
Polar Bear Club - Clash Battle Guilt Pride
Real Estate - Days
Glassjaw - Coloring Book EP
Stephen Malkmus & The Jicks - Mirror Traffic
Tom Waits - Bad As Me
Tv On The Radio - Nine Types of Light

Journey Home

This place is not our home.  Life is the journey going home.  I know that affliction and pain are part of the journey.  I know that hardships and struggles will be present always.  I don't expect to live an easier life as a believer.  Just the opposite.  

But God has promised comfort in times of affliction and times of peace. That's all we need.  We are never alone.    

Patiently Waiting

New Blog

I will be posting here often, for the purpose of staying connected and sharing life with my friends and family.  As we get older, our time with friends is condensed and often stories are not shared because of time constraints and other time consuming life events.  I love each of you and want you to know that, often.

Beauty in all things