Last days

Headed home.  I'll be back in the states on  the 23rd of February.  I feel like I've hit a wall writing anything but short blurbs that end up in the trash bin.  I think trying to focus on leaving another place that I've grown very attached is too much.  So, I joke and pretend that I'm fine.  The reality is that I'm torn and not even sure that I want to live in the U.S. again right now.  But, we're going to try it and see what happens.  

One realization that continues to pop up is that all of the experiences over the last 2.5 years in Africa have been part of a bigger story.  The friendships, heartaches, revelations, struggles, celebrations all remain with me.  They have shaped my mind and my perspective.  When I return, I won't simply forget about Malawi or Uganda.  The toughest part is leaving friends behind, almost like suspending them indefinitely.  I don't know when I will be back.  

What I do know is that God surrounds you with people with intent and purpose.  My close group of friends in both countries taught me endless amounts about friendship and myself.  I don't know why I started hanging out with one of the security guards at CURE and not the others, but I do know that the wisdom gained from our time together is invaluable.  I don't even know how I became friends with several people here but I do know that I would do just about anything for them.  

My hope is that I return home and love people the way that I have been loved.  I'm not the easiest person to live or be around at times and some people just pushed through it and loved me anyway.  It would be a tragedy to return home as the same person.  Africa was never the final destination and when I contractually agreed, I knew this day would come.  Time to look forward while letting my recent past shape my thoughts and decisions.  

As I was saying goodbye to a close friend yesterday, I found myself just thanking him over and over.  I wanted him to know that his friendship was special and that I didn't take it for granted.  The amount of time that people invested in me was not affected with the knowledge that I would be moving 12 months later.  For me, that's hard to wrap my mind around.  Why get close to someone that you know will leave?  I think that lots of people realize that it's part of their story.  It's the journey that counts and the person may leave, but it will always be worth it.  Always.