As I wrote short talks for each day of program, I thought about my own relationship with Christ. As I delivered messages on stage in front of a room of quiet teens, I was convicted. As I had one-on-one conversations with students all summer, memories of my past flashed through my head.
Whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts and he knows everything. (1 John 3:20)
I had to fight back guilt and shame this summer. I had to remember GOD'S promises. I had to remember that he is righteous, he is HOLY.
He forgives entirely,
he heals deeply and
he restores completely.
I had to remember the good news....the promise that repentance leads to reconciliation. The promise that God dealt with my sin once and for all. The promise that his grace is and always will be sufficient.
Sometimes I convince myself that if I don't pray about a certain sin issue, God will let it slide. I will be able to hold onto it, learn to live with it. The idea of total surrender is something that I'm still working towards....the growing pains are necessary.
Over the summer, several situations arose that forced me to deal with my own heart. I was brutally honest with my students. Even though I was a leader and staff member, I am not perfect and didn't pretend to be. As I look at the spiritual growth that I experienced in a very short time this summer, I'm thankful. It's never easy but it's always worth it.
Nothing in creation is hidden from God's sight, everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account. (Hebrews 4:13)
What is the Gospel?
The good news (gospel) is that the just and gracious creator of the universe has looked upon hopelessly sinful men and women and has sent his son, Jesus Christ....who was God in the flesh to bear his wrath against sin on the cross and show his power over sin and death in the resurrection, so that everyone who turns from sin will be reconciled to God forever.
Mark, thank you for these words. Being willing to be vulnerable, especially to teenagers, is a courageous act; and teenagers especially need the adults in their world to be as such - to relate our imperfections and sin that leads them to the cross of Christ. In the midst of a writing project, my first piece of homework that my editor has assigned me to is writing out my testimony - what led me and my family into ministry. In this, I am having to turn back the pages that reveal the ugly before I can relate the good. This week I can relate to your struggle of "fighting back the shame and guilt" - having to go back and remember and tell for the sake of His glory; and being reminded that we are who we are today because of the sin and then His grace. As distorted as this may sound, I would not want to change anything. God causes ALL things to work for good! Praise Him!! Keep writing and sharing your heart - you have blessed me! :)
ReplyDeleteI can't even begin to tell you how much joy it brings me to see you writing again.
ReplyDeleteYour words captivate and inspire. I admire your honesty, your openness and how real you are. You humble yourself and admit your struggles before others -- owning up to your mistakes, all while bringing glory & honor to the Father who is well pleased with you.
You have reminded me of 2 Corinthians 12:9 & Hebrews 10:17-18. His grace is sufficient for you. His forgiveness is complete. His restoration and redemption are full.
It is an honor to see a glimpse of your heart. There's nowhere not to see Jesus in you.
-cara
2 Tim 4:17