My passport doesnt have one single stamp

I got my passport in 2004 - thinking I was going to do an internship in Greece at the Summer Olympics.  The opportunity was presented to the Sport and Entertainment program at Carolina and I signed up.  I did lots of paperwork, applications and even got checked out to pass physical/meducal requirements.  There were rumours that we would be cleaning the venues - janitorial work.  Nothing fun or exciting.  I didn't care - I just wanted to be there.  Then a couple months before we leave, the trip was cancelled.  For everyone.  I was so disappointed. I ended up doing a great internship with Clear Channel Sports and met Andy Roddick, Andre Agassi, Miss America, Kristi Yamaguchi and Brian Boitano.  Not joking.  Brian Boitano is a full-on diva.  The internship evolved into a full-time job and 8 years later - I'm still working around live entertainment.  I still think about the summer olympics and what the trip would have been like - but I know it was for the best.


About a year and half ago, I got the itch to fill out an application for the Peace Corps.  I did everything - medical, dental, essays and several phone interviews.  I was just one vaccine short of being cleared - which is a lot of work and time.  The polio vaccine is not common anymore so my doctor doesn't carry it.  I had to stop by the health department during the week to get it.  That's all I needed to do.  Well, not feeling 100% about going abroad, I never got it.  My medical clearance lapsed after several months and I would have to start over even if I got the polio vaccine today.  I don't regret it.  I didn't feel right in my heart.  I didn't want to go abroad - I just wanted my situation at home to change.  I wanted a relationship - I wanted another job.  

So I sit here without the relationship that I desire but I feel ok with it.  I still haven't bought a house and have been looking since November.  I'm ok with that too.  I don't have the urgent need to change my situation.  But the thought of packing up and doing something else has never left my mind.  It's been back there since 2004 if I really think about it.  I have never taken any risks because my internship led me to the place I am today.  It's been a huge blessing - no frantic job searches, no lay offs and no worries financially.  Especially today, a lot of people would trade places with me in a heartbeat.  I don't have debt other than a student loan payment.

I believe I could stay in my place and possibly work with Live Nation for the rest of my career.  I could possibly be in Columbia for the rest of my life.  Would I accept that if someone could guarantee that?  I don't think so.  I don't think life should be so gauranteed and predictable.  At least, I hope not.  God opens doors and closes doors.  I don't think it's possible to stay here unless I just continue to walk past open doors.  It may be financially comforting but how much am I pressing into God and trusting his provision?

I know God can use me at Live Nation and of course, he can use me in Columbia.  But is that what he wants from me?  To be content in this place?  To never take a risk?  To never take a chance with him leading my way?  I'm praying hard on this right now.  It may not be this year or the next.  Heck, it may even be five years from now.  But at some point I'm jumping from the comfort of this ship.